


We sat on the rooftop at sunset

by Cloudyjongho



Category: N.Flying (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Not even kisses, Nothing Sexual, Yoo Hoesung centric, but lots of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:40:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22720066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudyjongho/pseuds/Cloudyjongho
Summary: New maknae joins N.Flying. The hyungs all focus on him, their newest baby. Hweseung feels pressure and just needs someone who would hold him and tell him it’s okay.
Relationships: Cha Hoon/Yoo Hoeseung, Kim Jaehyun/Yoo Hoeseung, Lee Seunghyub | J.DON/Yoo Hoeseung, Seo Dongsung/Yoo Hoesung, Yoo Hoeseung & Everyone, Yoo Hoeseung/Everyone
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	We sat on the rooftop at sunset

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I wrote this in like few hours just because of i wanted to write about Hweseung. Welcome to the band, Dongsung🥰
> 
> [My curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/ramenofwonho)
> 
> [my twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/ramenofwonho)

"Hweseung, sing it again. Your voice sounded dull and raspy."

Hweseung sang it again.

"You were off-tune. Again."

Another try.

"Are you even trying? You sound like a dying camel,"

Immortal songs were supposed to be a funny programme.

"Where are your emotions? This songs needs emotions, for fuck's sake."

Hweseung's throat hurt. But he had to sing it again.

"Hweseung is done. Come back when you can sing again."

Hweseung bowed and thanked the director quietly, leaving the stage. He felt like crying.

He had sang the song about hundred times now, and his throat really burned. The song was Sadness of love by Lee Chi Hyun. It was the hardest song Hweseung had ever sang. It had so many high parts as well as parts that required airy, breathy tone, not forgetting the accapella parts. No backing track at all.

G.o.d's Kim Taewoo entered the stage after him, giving him a pitying smile before starting his rehearsals.

Hweseung sat down on the couch in the dresssing room and opened a water bottle, gulping atleast half of it down to soothe his burning throat. He had warmed up his voice really well, but singing the high-pitched song again and again really made his vocal chords angry.

"Hweseung, try on your outfit now that you have time." His stylist said, holding up the outfit.

Hweseung nodded and started taking off his clothes. He put on the black jeans and black loose-fitting shirt, closing his belt.

"Looks good. Have you gained weight? Your jeans seem to be tighter than last time," His stylist said, not meaning it by a mean way. But Hweseung took it that way.

"Yeah. I don't know, i hope not. I'll go sing now so i can get home." Hweseung's voice was almost completely gone. He changed his clothes again. 

He walked towards the stage, his heart beating fast. He really didn't want to mess up.

Hweseung concentrated on getting the feeling right. The song was really sad, but Hweseung was sad now too. He really wanted to go home.

But at home, he would be ignored again. His hyungs would be around Dongsung, cuddling with him, babying him, loving him, forgetting Hweseung completely.

Who could he blame? Dongsung was cuter than him, younger than him. He was the maknae. Hweseung was nothing anymore. He was nothing special, the second youngest. Not the oldest, not the youngest.

"Your cheeks look really chubby in the camera. You should lose weight for the following episodes." The camera director said, and Hweseung once again nodded.

"We are starting."

Hweseung squeezed the mic, as if he was going to drop it.

"Do your best, Hweseung." The director's voice said to the mic before the band started the dramatic song.

Hweseung closed his eyes. He had to do well. He had to. But his voice was raspy, he knew it would not last the whole song.

Hweseung forced his voice. He forced it to sound something like it could sound. But it wasn't even near of what he could do. He started coughing.

"Okay, let's end it here. Hweseung. I don't know what to do with you other than hope you will do well tomorrow. Go home."

Hweseung bowed deep and left the stage with hurried steps. He wanted to leave. So he did.

"Hweseung, your driver isn't here yet-" His stylist started.

"Tell him not to come. I'll go home with subway." Hweseung sais, his voice cracking and betraying him again.

His throat burned so badly. It hurt. But Hweseung just put on his jacket, took his phone and left the building.

It was raining. Of course it was. The sky pityed him too. 

Hweseung walked towards the nearest subway station, checking the correct number of the underground train before jumping in. He put his mask on and stood leaning against the wall.

People were all quiet and on their phones. Hweseung stared out of the window, only seeing the reflection of himself. He stared at it, not even blinking.

He was nothing.

He couldn't sing.

His band members didn't love him.

Dongsung was better.

Dongsung was better.

Better.

Hweseung was nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing.

The subway stopped, and Hweseung stepped out, continuing the stairs up. People ran and walked past him, some of them even bumping into him. 

He walked the dark streets of Seoul towards their dorm. People were drunk, some of them probably high, but Hweseung was just full of bad thoughts. He was confident today before going to the studio to rehearse, but then everything went shit.

To be honest, Hweseung wasn't sure if he'd be able to sing tomorrow.

He punched in the code of their dorm and stepped inside, kicking his shoes off. He heard the familiar tune of Friends coming from their livingroom, and Hweseung stilled.

Watching Friends was a thing he, Seunghyub, Jaehyun and Hun did. It was their thing. Usually they cuddled and relaxed with that. Hweseung couldn't help the pang of hurt inside his heart, and he continued to kitchen. 

There he peeked behind the corner, only to see his hyungs cuddling Dongsung as they laughed to Chandler's stupid sayings. Hweseung just took a bottle of water from the refrigerator, drank it completely, took another bottle and decided to make tea. 

He boiled the water with electric kettle, watching as steam rose from it. He warmed his numb fingers on top of it, accidentally touching the metal and hissing in pain right after. Hweseung took a bag of tea and some honey before pouring the water to a large cup. He soaked the tea bag in the water, and poured some honey to sweeten it. If he wanted to be alive after tomorrow he had to have his voice.

Immortal songs was a programme where artists could sing different genres and meet other talented artists. Create a name to yourself, catch some new fans to your band. That was what Hweseung was doing. He wanted to help N.Flying do better, he wanted himself to do better. 

It hadn't been long since Dongsung joined them. They needed a bassist, and Dongsung was a skilled one. 

Hweseung hadn't knew Dongsung was younger than him before the boy had called him hyung in their first meeting. Hweseung had almost choked on his spit, his head spinning with no, no please don't. 

Hweseung was a human that needed a lot of love and affection. His hyungs had made a great job doing that, but now that they had the new youngest, Hweseung felt lonelier than ever. Everyone in the band babied Dongsung, gave him hugs, praised him endlessly, gave him privileges. Hweseung slept alone, cried alone, ate alone. Sang alone, practiced alone, exercised alone. 

"The baby fell asleep. Seunghyub, can you carry him to his room?" Hweseung heard Hun ask.

Hweseung pressed better against the counter, hoping to stay hidden. He didn't have energy or patience to meet them right now.  
He stirred his tea quietly before taking a huge gulp, and keeping it in his mouth. He slowly swallowed and pressed his eyes closed from the burning and stinging his throat gave him. 

Laughter grew weaker and weaker as the three other members left the living room while carrying their youngest member. Hweseung bitterly drank his tea, and poured some more.

Sure, he was being childish. He was supposed to act like a good older brother, but there he was avoiding everyone. There he was, leaning against the counter as jealousy filled his chest.

Hweseung drank atleast three cups of tea before taking painkillers and some throat-soothing pastilles, before walking to his room. He changed his clothes in complete silence, sitting down on the bed and hugging a pillow. He tried to sing one note, only one note, but his voice came put as a squeak of some kind. He tried again. Nothing came out.

God. He should've stopped earlier, he would have his voice now.

Hweseung drank water and threw more pastilles to his mouth, curling up under his blanket. He really hoped tomorrow would be better.

"You woked him up! Jesus Jaehyun, just how loud you are?" He heard Seunghyub's low voice scold Jaehyun in the room on the other side of the hallway before everyone laughed loudly.

Hweseung closed his eyes and hugged the pillow, first tears running down his face.

They didn't even know he came home. They didn't know when he would come home. Hell, they didn't probably even know where he was. 

They didn't care.

They didn't care.

A sob escaped Hweseung's mouth. Fuck, he really didn't want go cry. He wasn't weak.

Or was he?

He was weak. Weaker than anyone, even weaker than Dongsung. Worse than Dongsung. 

Hweseung let the tears fall and muffled his sobs. The last thing he wanted to was to attract attention now. The clock ticked, it was probably somewhere around two or three in the morning. 

Falling asleep was supposed to be easy and fun. You just needed to press your eyes closed and breathe calmly and there you went to the neverland. 

But sleep never came to Hweseung that night.

He had to force himself out of the bed at 7am. He drank some water before checking his throat. It didn't hurt anymore. Hweseung tried to sing a note.

It went better than he had expected. His voice was a bit croaky and raspy, but it was still really early. Maybe luck was on his side and he could sing today. Hweseung stood up and pulled a thick hoodie on, craving for warmth before walking to kitchen. He was the only one in there, the others wouldn't have any schedules today. 

Hweseund made more tea and was about to cook some rice to eat with kimchi, but the camera director's words rang in his head. 

"You should lose weight for the following episodes." Hweseung mumbled to remind himself, and put the bag of rice away. He sat on the counter, taking the warm cup to his cold hands and taking a large sip of it. The tea calmed his throat even more, and Hweseung sighed. Today would go well. He should believe in that. 

The show would be recorded today in the morning and aired in the evening. Hweseung would need to leave in ten minutes. 

He quickly gulped down the tea and went to brush his teeth and change clothes. He packed painkillers and those pastilles, as well as his phone and warmer clothes. Hweseung threw his jacket on, tied his shoelaces and stepped outside. It was a chilly morning, definitely colder than he had expected.

He sighed and got in to the car his company had reserved to him, and quietly greeted the driver. He put the seatbelt on and leaned against the window, pulling the hood on and closing his eyes. He didn't want to fall asleep now, but somehow he did.

The dreams weren't any better than the reality.

In his dream he was kicked out of N.Flying. He managed to fall asleep for 20 minutes and that's what he saw?

Hweseung woke up when the car stopped and the driver cleared his throat. He stood up and thanked the driver, making his way inside the studio. He really didn't want to be there. All other artists and mc's in there were friendly, but the directors seemed to hate him.

His stylist started doing his make up while Hweseung stared himself at the mirror. He looked tired and burnt out. But he also looked like a failure. A total flop. A fat boy with no talents.

Hweseung had to blink and force himself to think about something else. He was going to perform in front of the whole South Korea soon, he didn't have time to feel insecure. He had to do well, he had to look confident, sound confident, be confident.

"Is your throat okay?" His stylist asked.

"Yeah. It's better and i'm pretty sure i'll be able to sing today." Hweseung answered, sighing.  
"I'd rather not use my voice too much before warming up and performing." Hweseung said to the stylist, feeling a little rude for not talking with her.

"Completely understandable. I'll finish your make up soon, put your clothes on and then go meet Mr. Kang." She answered.

Hweseung smile at her as an answer, feeling a little better because of her.

Soon she put some lipstick on Hweseung's lips, and he stood up, changing his clothes and taking a new water bottle with him. He walked towards the stage. 

Hweseung was really nervous. The director had never anything good to say about Hweseung, and especially after yesterdays episode he wanted to meet the man even less.

The man stood there, talking with another participants.

"Oh, Hweseung. We have an hour until we start recording, so before that you will need to do whatever you want to do before the show. Warm up or something, i don't know, you're the singer here, not me." 

Hweseung just nodded, swallowing painfully. He felt like shit again. Like the shittest shit there is.

The director leaned in, too close to Hweseung, and whispered straight to his ear:  
"You better do well tonight. Or i swear i'm going to kick you out, you brat."

Hweseung bowed once again when the man backed up, quickly speed-walking down from the stage. His breathing was faster, way too fast. Usually he handled pressure really well. Heck, he had served 3 years in the army, why was he now in the verge of a panick attack? Hweseung leaned against a wall somewhere in the building, taking calming breaths and thinking about positive things. First positive thing that came to his mind was N.Flying, but suddenly it didn't feel good. N.Fia was the second one, but they couldn't help either. They loved Dongsung way too much.  
His parents. His dad who had put a banner up for him. Hweseung closed his eyes and thought about his mom and dad. He thought about his happy memories from his childhood, and he slowly calmed down. 

When Hweseung felt ready, he walked back to his dressing room and started warming up his voice and vocal chords. 

He was a bit anxious, because he didn't have a chance to sing the song once before recording. He had to do well in one take. Hweseung had a clear plan inside his mind about what parts were sang a certain way. It was like a map in his mind, but yesterday it hadn't been enough. Hweseung had to push some emotions to it. 

He drank some water and did different exercises to his voice, and thank god, it handled them well. Hweseung was more than lucky. He knew his throat would hurt after singing the song, but he didn't need to sing anywhere other than in practices next week.

"5 minutes!" Came the yell of one of the staff's, and Hweseung opened his eyes. He moved to his spot to the room with sofas where the others would be sitting too. 

The recording began, it went smoothly. Hweseung only had to fake a smile and a laugh there and there. He kept on introducing himself as N.Flying's vocalist Yoo Hweseung, but he didn't feel like that at all.

When his name got called and he walked up to the stage, the only thing he could hear was his way too fast heartbeat. His hands trembled, his mind screamed, but Hweseung just walked to the center of the stage and stood there. 

Emotions. Emotions. Emotions.

Hweseung closed his eyes and searched for the emotions. He didn't need to go far. Just the thought of him failing and having to deal with the director were enough to moisten his eyes and make his mind sharp and ready. 

The song started.

Hweseung prayed.

It was his turn to sing.

And he did. He gave the song everything he had. His voice climbed up all the way to one of the highest notes he had sung, and his voice didn't betray him.

Having a little more confident Hweseung relaxed a bit. He began to forget everything and just focus on the powerful feeling he got from being able to show what he had. What he was made of.

The song ended with a long highnote, and Hweseung let himself breathe out. 

Thank god it was over. But now his throat hurted a lot again.

It felt like his throat was on fire. 

He walked off the stage still a little out of breath and gave the mic to the staff, thanking them before continuing to the room with other artists. He just wanted to go home now that he was done.

But he won. He won a round. Hweseung couldn't believe it. He had won. He had won even with his untalented voice. He had won even with his fat body.

After it was over, Hweseung wiped off his make up and changed his clothes back to the comfy warm ones, thanking the staffs with his breaking voice and basically running out. He sat to the car, exhaling and closing his eyes. Some of the pressure on his chest had come off, and now he could breathe a little better.

However, the next thing he had to face was his members. As the car stopped and Hweseung thanked the driver with his almost gone voice and hopped out, he bit his lower lip. Could he just be silent and go inside without anyone noticing? If he had good luck, then yes. Then again, he didn't want to test it. Hweseung turned and began to walk towards their company, FNC Entertaiment. Maybe he would see Inseong or someone.

Hweseung wanted to dance again. Ever since he had been eliminated from Produce 101 and introduced as N.Flying's main vocal, he hadn't really danced a lot.

When he danced, time flew fast. He really missed his friends from Produce 101, but he was an idol now. An idol in a group. Dancing probably wasn't good for his throat but he really didn't care anymore.

After few hours of dancing Hweseung went to find the members of SF9, but he couldn't find any, so he walked back to N.Flying's dorm.

The dorm that became his home, his safe place. The dorm that he absolutely feared now. He checked his phone and saw that N.Flying had went live in Vlive few hours ago and Hweseung got curious. But after reading the title he didn't really want to watch it. It was titled by 'Romantic dinner with Dongsung, Seunghyub and Hun.' Hweseung let out a bitter laugh. He really couldn't have a second without feeling bad.

He walked inside quietly, taking off his jacket and shoes. He heard loud talking coming from the living room, so he once again went to kitchen to get water.

He froze when he heard his own voice start singing Sadness of love. Was it already that late? Immortal songs were airing now.

No. He couldn't stand there listening to his members commenting about his voice. Hweseung didn't want to hear any more insults. He wanted them to stop. 

Why wasn't he just a normal boy? Or a boy like Dongsung? Why was he Hweseung?

His breathing got faster again, and he looked around with wide eyes. He needed to go. To hide. To leave. To breathe. Just to get out. Out. Out. Out.

Hweseung pushed the door of their fridge closed with a little bit too much power and it let out a soft but not soft enough clank.

"Hweseungie? Are you there? Come watch your performance with us," He heard Hun say.

No. They're not gonna make him sit there and listen to their opinions. Hweseung couldn't do it.

He was weak, he couldn't even answer before he rushed out of the kitchen to his room, closing the door with a loud bang. He hadn't intended to, it was an accident, but he just needed to get away.

Hweseung tried to get to his bed but his legs gave out in the middle of his room, he crumbled to the floor on his knees while the first tears ran down his face and the first sob escaped his mouth.

Hweseung broke.

His whole body trembled as sobs escaped his mouth. Hweseung pressed his hands on his face while letting out pitiful whines and sobs, his gone voice making them sound even more pitiful. 

His breaths came out as fast, franctic desperate tries to get air in and out. Hweseung felt like he was choking.

Hweseung let his upper body fall and hit the floor. He lied there in a position that looked like he was doing a full bow, which was rather ironic.

He whined and sobbed again as tears ran down his cheeks. He couldn't breathe or concentrate on anything.

But he heard the door of his room open, and Hweseung cursed in his mind for not locking it. Then someone pushed it closed again, and ran away, which made Hweseung cry even harder.

He had been right. They didn't care about him. He could just die here, and they wouldn't even know before someone came to look what was the thing smelling bad.

However, as Hweseung's attack went on and he cried even harder, the door opened again, this time people walking in. Hweseung couldn't see anything through his teary eyes. 

Hands touched his body and he scrambled away, kicking the person while crying even louder. He tried to protect himself from hits or insults or whatever he could get. 

"It's okay Hweseungie. It's okay." 

That voice. He could always recognize that low voice.

Seunghyub.

Maybe he cared? Maybe he didn't want to insult him? But then again no, they probably just came to talk about how amazing Dongsung is like they had talked to him the last weeks. How he fit the band so well.

Hweseung's body was tired. His sobs rocked his body, refusing to calm down.

"Don't be scared. It's me, Seunghyub. Everything is okay. You're not alone anymore. I'm here with you."

Hweseung wanted to yell at him. To yell how shit he felt, how mean they had been to him, how he had needed someone to talk to, but the last few weeks they had said no to him. 

But he couldn't for two reasons. One, his voice was completely gone and his lungs felt too small. Two, he could never yell at Seunghyub. Never.

"It's okay to cry. Cry as much as you want to, i'll wait here right beside you. I won't touch you. I'll just wait and talk to you."

Hweseung's mind screamed 'don't fall for it!', but he was so tired. So, so tired. He couldn't fight anymore. His body gave up. Hweseung gave up.

He didn't want to fight anymore.  
He didn't want to cry anymore.

Hweseung's sobbing calmed down a little bit every few minutes, leaving him just laying on the floor on his back and staring at the roof with wet eyes. His lips were a bit parted, slow and deep exhales and inhales going in and out.

It was completely silent.

"Can you stand up and get to your bed? Or do i lift you?" Seunghyub carefully asked.

Hweseung tried to answer, but all that came out were whiny sounds and squeaks. He tried to get up but he was so exhausted that he just crumbled back on the floor. 

He felt strong arms slide under his knees and back. Seunghyub lifted him up and put down on his bed where closed his eyes and curled up.

"Sleep now. Let's talk later." A hand caressed his side, and Hweseung wanted to yell again.

He wanted to tell Seunghyub that he didn't want to talk. He didn't need to talk. He just wanted to go back to the normal life they had had.

Hweseung tried to say no, but nothing came out so he gave up and closed his eyes. Sleep took him immediately.

————

Seunghyub closed the door behind him quietly and walked to living room where the three other members sat. They were all quiet, staring at the floor or the roof.

"He fell asleep." Seunghyub simply said, sitting down on the couch.

It had been a hard thing to see. When Hweseung had closed the door of his room so loudly Seunghyub had been ready to scold the younger, but Dongsung had insisted on going. The young bassist had came back with wide eyes and whispered 'he's crying on the floor.'.

Seunghyub had jumped up faster than ever, running to Hweseung's room. He had seen the boy lying on the floor while sobbing and bawling his eyes out, out of breath and visibly panicking. The sounds Hweseung had let out made it all even sadder. He didn't have voice, all the sounds he had made were whines, squeaks or raspy, croaky coughs. When the boy had finally calmed down and allowed Seunghyub to lift him to his bed, the bigger one almost cried too. He had never seen Hweseung this sad, this vulnerable, this broken. He had wondered what made him like this. What made his voice go away and panick attack take over him. Why was Hweseung scared of his own members he had known for years?

It hadn't taken long until he had realised. 

They had been so focused on Dongsung joining their band they hadn't really paid any attention to Hweseung. They all knew the young boy needed humans around him to keep his engine going and head okay, but they had just ignored him. Changing from being the youngest to second youngest wasn't an easy change, Seunghyub had comforted Jaehyun about the same thing. They had all left Hweseung alone.

"What's wrong with Hweseung?" Dongsung asked them, concern evident in his voice.

"Hweseungie... is a really sensitive boy. He thinks a lot inside his small head and needs to talk with someone from time to time. Now that we have been really excited from having you here in our band we have all ignored him, so i think all the pent up things came out as a panick attack and crying. He's asleep now so don't worry." Seunghyub sighed.

"And Dongsung, don't feel bad about it. We are the bad guys. We should've remembered him too." Hun said strictly to the sad looking boy.

"God, he must have felt so lonely. Now that i think about it, i haven't visited his room at all in weeks." Jaehyun whispered, shocked expression on his face.  
"It's a big thing to not be the maknae anymore. You feel scared, because you know they're gonna love the youngest one more. You're scared, because you think no one's not gonna love you anymore. Not even your hyungs. He was probably frightened." Jaehyun continued.

"He has lost his voice. I don't know how, his voice was just fine during Immortal songs, right?" Seunghyub asked.

"Did anyone see him yesterday?" Hun asked.

All of them shook their heads.

"God, i feel like the worst brother ever." Jaehyun sighed, massaging his temples with his fingers.

"Do you think he's gonna allow me to sleep next to him anymore?" Hun asked.

"Hweseung is not stupid, he won't hate us forever." Seunghyub said.  
"Everyone go sleep. It's late."

They stood up, muttering quiet good night's and leaving to their rooms. But none of them fell asleep easily that night.

————

Hweseung woke up with a pounding headache. He groaned, his throat protesting immediately after. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. 

God, he wouldn't step out of his room. He didn't want to see them. He already felt shit enough.

Hweseung looked at the clock. It was 2pm, he had slept over 12 hours. Atleast he got to charge his batteries a bit.

His stomach growled loudly. It had been about 36 hours since he had last eaten something food, but the small voice in his head told him not to let the temptation win. But he really wanted water, his throat felt like a desert.

Hweseung stood carefully up, pulling a hoodie on before opening the door as quietly as he could. He tiptoed his way to kitchen, smiling a bit in delight when he found it empty. He reached for the water bottle he had opened last night and gulped it down, enjoying how it soothed his throat.

He sneaked out of the kitchen and pulled his shoes on. Just as he was closing his jacket, a voice spoke up.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Just the person Hweseung wanted to see. He turned around a bit to look at Dongsung's face. He stood there with his arms crossed on his chest, one brow lifted up.

"I need some air." Hweseung spoke up, his voice raspy and cracking.

"No you're not. Come sit down in the living room, right now." Dongsung ordered.

"That is not a way to speak to your elders, Dongsung." Hweseung spoke out bitterly, each word emitting venom.

Dongsung stared at him with an unreadable expression before walking closer to him.  
He walked so close that Hweseung had to walk backwards, his back hitting the wall. Dongsung leaned closer.

"I might be younger than you. But i'm taller than you." He hissed out.  
"So follow me to the living room or i'm asking Seunghyub to carry you there."

Hweseung stared at Dongsung before giving up and taking off his shoes and jacket. He walked after Dongsung, cursing in his head. He really didn't want to.

Hweseung wasn't mad at them. He was mad at himself. But he tried to mask his sadness with anger. He didn't want to show his weak side anymore.

Hweseung sat down on the sofa, pulling his knees against his chest as he waited. Dongsung had left to get the others. 

To be honest, he was scared of meeting them. Really scared. That was almost comical. The last few weeks had fucked up his brains so well that he was afraid of his own band members he had known for years.

He heard people walk towards the living room, and Hweseung stared at the floor while biting his lower lip. 

People sat down on the couches. They were quiet.

God, Hweseung wanted to get out of there. Was he even worth of spending time with them?

"What made you that upset, Hweseung-ah?" Seunghyub spoke up.

Hweseung didn't answer. He didn't want to. He held himself back from just blurting it all out by biting his lip hard enough to male it bleed.

"Please tell us. We're worried."

Silence.

"Hweseung..." Jaehyun's voice laced with desperation made Hweseung lose it.

"Do you guys still love me?" He quietly asked, his voice sounding really weird, but he was able to talk.

"Why wouldn't we? You're our band member, our smallest member, our main vocalist. We wouldn't be anything without you, Hweseung." Hun spoke softly.

"But i'm not good enough. Fit enough." 

"Hweseung-" Seunghyub started, but Hweseung cut him off.

"Pleade don't insult me. I can't take it." He whispered.

"No one is going to insult you." Dongsung said quietly, looking at Hweseung with sad eyes.

Hweseung got it why everyone liked Dongsung. He really was cute like a puppy, handsome like Hun, kind like Seunghyub and funny like Jaehyun. Hweseung was nothing.

"We're sorry we have been so distant with you. We didn't even realize it because we were so excited about having a new band member and maknae-" Jaehyun started before Hun kicked his shin, making the younger one cry out dramatically.

"Yeah. I totally get it. I really do. You need to take care of the new maknae just like you took care of me, right?" Hweseung asked, trying to keep his tone calm and eyes dry.

"That's not what Jaehyun meant. You're just as important to us." Seunghyub said.

Hweseung's eyes filled with tears.

"Don't you see it? We all adore you. The first thing Dongsung asked when he heard he would be joining us was 'Will i meet Hweseung? I'm a fan of his!'. He loves you too, Hweseungie." Hun said, his voice calm.

"Adding a new member to our group doesn't change anything, Hweseung. We still love Jaehyun, don't we? He has gone through the same thing as you. I understand you feel upset." Seunghyub said, standing up and sitting beside Hweseung.  
"We're really sorry we didn't talk with you or really be with you. I can't even tell you how sorry we are." He continued.

Hweseung nodded.

God, he felt so damn stupid. He should've understood, he should've talked to Jaehyun. All he did was blame himself and Dongsung. He needed to be a good older brother, not a childish one.

"I'm so sorry, Dongsung. I haven't been a good hyung." Hweseung said, looking at the youngest member who just smiled at him warmly.

Dongsung was so beautiful. Hweseung now began to understand why the others liked him. Tears escaped his eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry guys. I don't know why i have been like this. God, i'm so stupid" Hweseung said, pressing his face against his knees.

Seunghyub's warm, big hand pulled Hweseung closer and he let him. Hweseung leaned against Seunghyub's chest as he pressed his eyes closed while enjoying the warmth.

"Hweseungie, why was your voice gone? Did you practice too hard?" Jaehyun asked, and Hweseung opened his eyes.

"No... the director made me sing Sadness of love so many times that i just pressured myself too much. Nothing bad." He answered, snuggling closer to Seunghyub.

"Was he mean to you?" Hun asked after silence.

They really knew him that well, huh. 

Hweseung wasn't sure if he should tell them, but he was tired of keeping secrets.

"He was." 

"What did he say to you?" Seunghyub gently asked.

"I sound like a dying camel." Hweseung said, a small laughter escaping his chest.  
"I couldn't sing the song like he wanted me to."

"You do know that's not true, right?" Dongsung asked.

"Usually."

"I became your fan because of your voice, hyung. You sound like an angel."

Hweseung smiled a bit.

"Thank you. You're really cute, handsome and skilled and i was really jealous." He admitted.

Dongsung snorted and winked at Hweseung, who then laughed.

But Hun was quiet.

"He said something else, didn't he." 

"What makes you think that?" Hweseung asked him.

"I know you haven't eaten in days."

Silence.

Hweseung stopped breathing for a while, before exhaling deeply.

"Why do you ask if you already know..." He sighed, wrapping his hands around Seunghyub better.

"Honey, you do know that's not true. You're not fat, come on, you're the one who has served in the army for three years." Jaehyun said, gently smiling at him.

"I know. It just got into my head because i was upset. I will eat, i promise." 

"You promise?" Hun asked.

"I promise. I love you all. You too, Dongsung. Thank you." Hweseung mumbled, pink color spreading on his cheeks.

"We love you too, baby." Hun said, smiling fondly.

Hweseung hugged Seunghyub tighter, pressing his face against his hyung's chest.

"I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault, Hweseung. We are sorry too." Jaehyun said while sitting right next to Hweseung and hugging his waist.

"I love you."

"We love you too." 

Hweseung's eyes felt teary and tired. He had just slept over 12 hours, but he was sleepy again.

"I think i'm going to fall asleep, hyung." Hweseung mumbled to Seunghyub.

"I'm going to carry you to your room. Do you want to sleep with me?" 

"Can i sleep with Dongsung?" Hweseung asked. He didn't miss the gasp their youngest let out.

"Sure." Seunghyub chuckled, petting Hweseung's head before standing up with their smallest member in his arms.

He walked to Hweseung's room and placed him on the bed, Dongsung following quietly behind with other members.

Hweseung felt the bed dip and he opened his left eye to look at Dongsung, who was hesitating.

"I don't have all day. Come on maknae, cuddle me." Hweseung ordered, a smile on his face.

"Who told you to be that cute, hyung?" Dongsung asked while sliding next to Hweseung. He wrapped his arms around Hweseung's body, pulling the smaller closer to him while his heart beat fast.

Hweseung let his eyes fall shut and he let his head rest against Dongsung's neck.

"I love you, Dongsung."

"I love you too, hyung."


End file.
